i believe that the lie
most often told to
ourselves is i don’t
know almost always we
do know we just do
not know how to say
whatever it is we know
or yet how to find
what it is that we know
or feel comfortable
expressing or willing
to deal with the
discomfort of thought
stirring up dust in
rooms we have learned
to avoid

how i admire her

i spent the 10 o’clock to whenever-i-publish-this-o’clock hour(s)

researching prefixes and suffixes of
metalic ions because i wanted to write
a proesm about some woman i know


and wanted to use the literary device of metaphor
aptly to compare her to metal but like see i was gonna
create a ‘new’ metal by taking


her first and middle names and adding
the appropriate suffix within chemistry nomenclature
for the molecule/ion/whatever
that is most like her


* * *

  1. i learned more about chemistry and molecules and ions and stuff in the last seventy-five minutes than i ever did in high school or college. probably because i’m on two types of adhd medication now and since i’m researching in regards to a really hot woman who likes having sex with me, i’m a bit more inspired
  2. after deciding which metallic/chemistry ionic whatever ‘thing’ was most like her[1. she’s an anion, i didn’t like how any of those suffixes looked or sounded. seriously i can’t be writing a piece about how friggin’ amazing she is while utilizing the suffix  ‘-ide’ or ‘-ate’. we’re not savages, people. so, obviously, since all of that research for the perfect word resulted in the perfect word not being aesthetically pleasing, i just ditched the idea
  3. i decided that the ‘piece’ – the miracle of creation driven by my awe and reverence to the woman she is every minute of every day –

like, seriously, ya’ll,

asleep on the couch
buried in a furry blanket
sick and exhausted and spent
herSelf inspired me to spend an hour and fifteen minutes
researching chemistry
(i found this page in purdue university’s chemistry dept to be most helpful)
in hopes of harnessing an idea
intending to express

how i admire her.



princess flecked with leaves and love

when she saw me in the hall
windowed door behind me
friends and dirt beyond

her smile well beyond

shaking giggling she bounded
towards me and i scooped her up
threw open the door
that was behind and is again
behind me because we went
onto the playground and we played hide and seek and we played walking tag and we played duck duck goose and we played whats your favorite food with a dozen three and four year olds oh and we played three little pigs and big bad wolf with a four foot plastic triangular ladder i have no idea how no one got hurt and we sang abcs while she danced on a wooden stage

and at one point i turned
and saw her face down sobbing

she had tripped, you see
while out of my line of sight
the fifty big and little people on the playground with us disolved
i slid her into my lap
and held her like a daddy does
and god the sun struck
tears welled in her blue eyes
highlighting streaks of tears already fallen carving tracks down sweet dirty cheeks
and then she was ok

because four year old fox scarlett princesses are indestructable

and we played more
and she hugged me
many many times
before allowing me
to go home